Whole world now plays

Marketing experts said today that they now think they are only months away from making the totality of current human life play well in Peoria. "The whole world and the way citizens of planet Earth live today is increasingly falling into line with the middle-class middle-America values of this medium-sized Illinois settlement." said Dave Zeller, of a Chicago ad agency. People as far flung as Chile, China and Egypt have now almost completely rearranged their lives so that they are defensible and marketable to the typical American family. Experts say that the exposure of Janet Jackson's nipple at the Superbowl shocked the world into realising that they would never get any money from the typical US consumer as long as they persisted with such venerable national cultural traditions such as non-Christianity, national dress, failing to eat at McDonalds and holding a culturally subjective view of the correct behaviour that fails to fall within the confines of Midwestern American etiquette. He also said: "You had women not wearing bras who didn't even aspire to an SUV and a McMansion, wearing funny tribal jewellery and guys being Maoist atheists and worshipping some weird-ass god called Allah, instead of, you know, regular, "God". Thank God they realised they have to fall into line with what conservative suburban housewives like Marge Simpson expect of them!"